I find it so interesting. So interesting how someone can be so curious, yet when they ask the world about their questions, the only response is that they need to have more confidence. Last night I asked a… lets just call him a friend (a very good friend, and no, he is not the same man I’ve written about in the past), about my blog and how he would describe me. One thing he said to me, was that I seem to have very little confidence. I have been told this by a few other people in my life as well. It puzzles me every time, because I am very confident in myself. I know who I am, and I know where I want to go in life. The journey however, is screwing me up and trying to knock me down at every turn and fork in the road. Non the less, I am confident in myself, and there are few things that I am not confident in. As I have explained to people who tell me how I am in need of confidence, I am confident but I am curious. I have questions, and I ask them. As most people hold the questions in and repress them, I ask them. I see no point in repressing questions, therefor I do not. If I am wondering how others view me, think of, or see me, then I ask them (It’s not like I ask random people, I’m not that much of a creeper). But I have asked a select few friends. I’m a psychology major. What can I say, I love knowing the reasoning behind people’s behaviors and thoughts. It’s just what I do, how I think, and I can’t help it. So why hide it? I feel like this is an AA meeting for questions. –Hello, my name is Tova. I am a question-er. I am brave enough to ask my questions, and confident enough not give a damn about every response I get back.– When I ask questions it isn’t that I seek approval, it’s that I’m curious. I want to know what others think of me because it entertains me. When people first get to know me, they are often very surprised by the things that come out of my mouth. I am one of those people who has an outrageously wild mind. One of the reasons I liked the guy I’ve written so many times about before on this blog, is because he’s the only man I have ever known who could match my mind set and keep up. He loved the strange way my mind works. How one second I could be petting the cat and the next second, I’d tell him how fun it would be to be in my dark classroom alone with him, as he wraps him arms around me and I kiss his neck. And yes, this is based off actual events. I’ll give other examples if you like, just ask me in the comment section. I always respond. That’s how my mind works, and I can’t help it. No shame here.
The moral of my rant –current rant– is that just because people may ask a lot of questions, but don’t automatically assume that their questioning of things means that they have no confidence. I am very confident, and you see that the more I choose to open up to you. It takes a while to see those part of me: the question-er and the confident young woman who will speak her mind. The world just misunderstands me sometimes.
Until next time~