D*mn Facebook.

I was doing so well with not wanting him. Forcing myself to not think of his voice, his smell. The way he loved to play his nerdy games and play with his cat on the bed I once loved laying in. The warm embrace that once felt so natural, being under his arm, my lips working their way from his chest up to his neck and followed by his lips. Yes these are the thoughts I try to stay away from and keep from letting invade my mind. I was doing a pretty good job of it up until I saw something so unexpected that it took me back a few steps. Seeing his friend from work, that I have zero friends in common with, on my suggestions for friends on facebook. Seeing that before class the other day really woke me up. It felt like the universe was mad at me again. But you know, it’s funny. The last time I felt like crying was the day we cut each other off. And since then, nothing. I think that’s the key to knowing you’ve made the right choice. The fact that I wanted to cry more before cutting ties, then I do after. Sure, I get lonely now and then, but that’s normal. I realize that, but I also realize that I need someone more mature then him. Someone who wants the same things as me. I need someone who wants to text me. Someone who wants to hold me. Someone who wants to caress me. Most importantly, someone who I can make happy in return.

Anyway, I wish I had a better topic to tell you about. But I just don’t right now. Sorry. Lately the only topic I feel that brings relief to me, is my love life. However much of a good trouble it is.

Until next time~

Tovala

Great Job Universe. Thanks A Bunch.

Alright, alright, alright. Enough already. I was a fool and I know it. Now that I’ve admitted to it publicly, can the world finally just let it go?? I’ve let it go, let him go. I will not return to the toxic relationship that once was. Or the person he made me become. I don’t like that girl. I never did.

To all of those people who hold themselves to a much higher standard, much harsher standard, almost to the point where you’re cruel toward yourself, you need to stop. I have, or am trying. That’s me though. But I’ll make you a promise. If you stop and promise to not be such a self hater, then I will to. I am my own worst hater. And he helped drag me down that road, so I burned that bridge. To be honest, I self detonated that bridge in a slow way, today. And I don’t want to sound vain or anything, so I’ll give him some well deserved credit, too. Both of our techniques for destruction were masterfully crafted, and equally toxic. I must say… well done. We might both be pretty well damaged for a long time to come. But I’ll tell you one thing. I’m worth more than that.

Great job universe. Thanks a bunch.

Until next time~

Tovala