I was doing so well with not wanting him. Forcing myself to not think of his voice, his smell. The way he loved to play his nerdy games and play with his cat on the bed I once loved laying in. The warm embrace that once felt so natural, being under his arm, my lips working their way from his chest up to his neck and followed by his lips. Yes these are the thoughts I try to stay away from and keep from letting invade my mind. I was doing a pretty good job of it up until I saw something so unexpected that it took me back a few steps. Seeing his friend from work, that I have zero friends in common with, on my suggestions for friends on facebook. Seeing that before class the other day really woke me up. It felt like the universe was mad at me again. But you know, it’s funny. The last time I felt like crying was the day we cut each other off. And since then, nothing. I think that’s the key to knowing you’ve made the right choice. The fact that I wanted to cry more before cutting ties, then I do after. Sure, I get lonely now and then, but that’s normal. I realize that, but I also realize that I need someone more mature then him. Someone who wants the same things as me. I need someone who wants to text me. Someone who wants to hold me. Someone who wants to caress me. Most importantly, someone who I can make happy in return.
Anyway, I wish I had a better topic to tell you about. But I just don’t right now. Sorry. Lately the only topic I feel that brings relief to me, is my love life. However much of a good trouble it is.
Until next time~