Love Actually

Love actually… or maybe not.

Yeah, let’s go with not. I’d rather it be real, but I can’t control others’. I hate that, don’t you? And I hate being that sad little brokenhearted girl. So I’m not. I refuse to be ‘that girl’. The man that I was in love with — all to stupidly I might add– has crushed any feelings I had for him. hahaha I mean, I wish he did. As much as I don’t want to be ‘that girl’, I am the girl who never loses hope. That’s something that will never change about me. Nor would I want it to. But I do recognize that ‘i need to take my own advise. When my friends are put into situations like this, I tell them that he isn’t worth it. You deserve to have someone who cares about you, who will be there for you, who will go out of their way for you. So yes, I will take my own advise. But, I will save him as a friend. That much is granted to those who desire it.

So here’s to my single guys and gals out there, because we rock!!

Until next time~

Tovala

Good Trouble

The grass is not always greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you decide to water it. Just make sure that you do not decide to water a poisoned lawn.

I am all for honesty being the best policy. I believe that honesty is a core value in any relationship, but what happens when you speak the truth and you are told it is false? You know it is true, and they tell you that you are in a dream like haze. My books give me a general understanding, while life clarifies that understanding. Yes, such is true. But my soul gives me love, and my heart projects it. Rejection is most foul, as a sure thing is a rarity. You once called me intriguing, but now you call me infatuated. You may know me, the real me. But you obviously do not know me well enough.

Until next time~

Tovala

The World’s Misunderstanding.

I find it so interesting. So interesting how someone can be so curious, yet when they ask the world about their questions, the only response is that they need to have more confidence. Last night I asked a… lets just call him a friend (a very good friend, and no, he is not the same man I’ve written about in the past), about my blog and how he would describe me. One thing he said to me, was that I seem to have very little confidence. I have been told this by a few other people in my life as well. It puzzles me every time, because I am very confident in myself. I know who I am, and I know where I want to go in life. The journey however, is screwing me up and trying to knock me down at every turn and fork in the road. Non the less, I am confident in myself, and there are few things that I am not confident in. As I have explained to people who tell me how I am in need of confidence, I am confident but I am curious. I have questions, and I ask them. As most people hold the questions in and repress them, I ask them. I see no point in repressing questions, therefor I do not. If I am wondering how others view me, think of, or see me, then I ask them (It’s not like I ask random people, I’m not that much of a creeper). But I have asked a select few friends. I’m a psychology major. What can I say, I love knowing the reasoning behind people’s behaviors and thoughts. It’s just what I do, how I think, and I can’t help it. So why hide it? I feel like this is an AA meeting for questions. –Hello, my name is Tova. I am a question-er. I am brave enough to ask my questions, and confident enough not give a damn about every response I get back.–  When I ask questions it isn’t that I seek approval, it’s that I’m curious. I want to know what others think of me because it entertains me. When people first get to know me, they are often very surprised by the things that come out of my mouth. I am one of those people who has an outrageously wild mind. One of the reasons I liked the guy I’ve written so many times about before on this blog, is because he’s the only man I have ever known who could match my mind set and keep up. He loved the strange way my mind works. How one second I could be petting the cat and the next second, I’d tell him how fun it would be to be in my dark classroom alone with him, as he wraps him arms around me and I kiss his neck. And yes, this is based off actual events. I’ll give other examples if you like, just ask me in the comment section. I always respond. That’s how my mind works, and I can’t help it. No shame here.

The moral of my rant –current rant– is that just because people may ask a lot of questions, but don’t automatically assume that their questioning of things means that they have no confidence. I am very confident, and you see that the more I choose to open up to you. It takes a while to see those part of me: the question-er and the confident young woman who will speak her mind. The world just misunderstands me sometimes.

Until next time~

Tovala